Beautifully Broken
by joiedevivre08
Summary: Carter/Blair. Blair/Chuck After Episode 2.18 It was an ever growing list: Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale. Serena. Blair Waldorf lost everything that was important to her. Maybe it was time to change things around. No Spoilers
1. We Were Fated to Pretend

Story: Beautifully Broken

Author: Bellakatalina

Rating: PG

Summary: Carter/ Blair. It was an ever growing list: Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale. Serena. Blair Waldorf lost everything that was important to her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl

"But there is really nothing, nothing we can do.  
Love must be forgotten. Life can always start up anew."

Time to Pretend, MGMT

Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale.

Her mother.

For years she had tried to impress her mother. She couldn't shine quite like Serena, but she could be the prim and proper society girl. She could have the wonderfully charming boyfriend, be the intelligent student, she could do it all to make her mother proud. She loved her mother and how badly she wanted to hear the she loved her too, that she was proud of her.

Her mother was the first one in her perfect plans that she had lost. Truly she had never had her mother, but she could adapt and she could edit and it wasn't important that she didn't have her mother nor had ever had her.

Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale.

Blair took a sip of her martini as she sat by herself in the bar. Her finger swirled around the rim of her glass as she repeated the mantra to herself.

Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale.

Nate.

Nate had been her perfect Prince Charming. Since they were little kids, she only had eyes for Nathanial Archibald. He had been sweet and gentle. They could have made each other better. She would have been an excellent wife. She had truly loved him, and maybe some part of him loved her, but it wasn't enough.

Her plans had been wrapped around him, absorbed in him. But, she could move on. Blair reworked her plans because in spite of losing her first love she found another, and she still had her future. Things changed, but Blair could still be Blair.

The waiter brought her a new martini and quickly moved away the near empty glass. There was no need to see the drinks piling up on the bar. She was a petit girl, but he could tell by her look he shouldn't bother trying to cut her off.

Chuck. Her father. Yale.

Chuck had made her feel alive. He mad her feel beautiful. Chuck had repaired all of the damage from her mother and Nate and brought her to life. It was a gamble and it was risky, but she couldn't help falling in love with him. He hurt her. He stood her up on their romantic getaway to Tuscany. She wanted to stop feeling, but she couldn't so she played this game, they both did. She protected her heart. She couldn't say she loved him because it would hurt too much to lose him. She was scared; she was a girl in love who had already had her heart broken, but she repaired it and was ready to give it to him if he would give her his.

So she said those words. 'I love you' she said as bravely as she could and he threw them back in her face. She stayed by his side, she helped him get back what was his, but he threw it all away.

Blair was too scared now. She needed a different type of love. She needed unconditional love.

Her father. Yale.

Her father.

Harold thought her daughter was a princess. Her every success and accomplishment was never lost on him. Though her mother had never seen her potential her father had fed it. She had lost bits of him along the way: when he left for France, when she plotted against his lover. But she was his daughter, his Blair Bear and that unconditional love could not fade.

Until he saw the truth, the plotting the vengefulness, this is who she was. He couldn't look far enough to why, to see the insecurity and the vulnerability, so he left just like every one else.

But there was one thing left. There was one way she could get her mother's pride and her father's unconditional love. There was one way she could keep her future and not care about her former heart breaks:

Yale.

Yale had been her dream. She had wanted this since she was a little girl. When everything went away she had always had Yale.

But no more, everything was gone.

Serena.

There was one person who could bring her back, her sister. Serena would be the one person she would allow to console her in her misery. But the words she said would make that impossible.

I forgave everything all because I thought one day you'd grow up.

I always want to believe the best in you, Blair, but the bottom line is, betrayal's in your nature.

She couldn't dispute it. When Serena came to apologize she didn't want to hear the patronizing words because now she knew how Serena really felt about her.

It was an ever growing list:

Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale. Serena.

Blair had a talent of seeing what she wanted to see. She could edit and manipulate herself into believing whatever she wanted, but not anymore. Blair had nothing left. There was no way to rework her dreams. There was only one solution: give up.

It was time for her to accept defeat. She was tired of having people tell her she was special only to take it away. She was tired of loving people who were incapable of reciprocating.

Sadly, she was beautifully broken.

She didn't even hear him as he approached at sat next to her. She was caught up in thought repeating the words over and over to herself.

"Hello, beautiful." He said awakening her from her thoughts.

The word swirled in her mind. She loved that word: beautiful.

"Carter, what are you doing here?" she asked surprised by his presence.

"Buying you a drink." He said. He was forward he put his hand on her upper thigh, but all she could think of was that word. Did he mean it? Did someone still think she was beautiful?

Carter wasn't sure what he was doing here with Blair Waldorf of all people. When he saw her profile he knew how it would ruin Chuck if he got his girl, but as he approached her his heart broke a bit. She had always worn her heart on her sleeve, so it was easy to see how much she was hurting.

It was her eyes that gave her away, and he was flooding in a pool of emotions as he took her in. He didn't know what to do or say to make her feel better because he didn't even know what the problem was.

So, he ordered another round and started talking. He could tell by her body language that she didn't want to talk so he took care of the conversation. Carter told her about his travels, about exploring the world.

"It was good to get out of here. I was suffocating." He said and it grabbed her attention. "I was tired of trying to be who the UES demanded."

"So, it was that easy. You just left?" Blair asked.

Carter looked back at her. He shouldn't have said that, now she would want to escape, to runaway.

"Yes and no," he replied. "You see, I wasn't brave enough to stay and be who I wanted to be, so I left."

"But you are now?" Blair asked confused.

Carter nodded his head. He was still a rascal and he knew it. He wouldn't deny it either, but he didn't care anymore. He was back to his world and he longer bared the weight of expectations on him.

"I wish I could be like that." Blair said softly looking into her drink as if it held the answers. "Not care what people think of me."

"You can be, Blair." Carter told her as he rubbed his hand up and down on her thigh. She looked down to see the hand on her leg. Carter followed her gaze and regretted the touch. It was too intimate.

"I'm sorry, Blair." He said as he began to take his hand away.

"Don't!" she demanded as she clasped her hand on top of his in order to prevent him from moving away from her. "I want to be the new Blair." She said moving in closer toward him.

He smiled at her sincerity. She was so beautiful and so broken. How could everyone abandon her?

"And what is the new Blair like?"

"She does what she wants to, when she wants to." Blair said as she nodded her head. "No rules; no plans."

He laughed at this softly. A Blair Waldorf without a plan? Everyone in the Upper East Side knew Blair had planned her entire future out beginning with Yale.

"What about Yale?" Carter asked with a raised eyebrow and smile on his lips.

Blair's lips thinned at the mention of her dream school. But, Yale was the old Blair, so that had to be forgotten.

"I'm not going to Yale." Blair said out loud for the first time. "I didn't get in." She said as if admitting it to herself for the first time.

"I'm sorry, Blair." He said honestly. "I'm sure there is a way…"

"No." Blair interrupted him, "I'm through trying to get things that don't want me."

"So what are you going to do now?" Carter asked amused by her complete change in attitude in the last few minutes.

"I'm going to let you by me another drink, and we will see where things go from there."

Carter could help piece her back together he decided. He knew how ugly the Upper East Side was, and he knew she would crumble underneath it all, but maybe if he stayed beside her she wouldn't.

--

A/N So after Age of Dissonance I really wanted to just write something about how I thought Blair was feeling because poor girl loses everything she ever wants. Anyway, this was meant as a one shot but I enjoyed writing the Carter/Blair possibility so if you would like me to make it into a multichapter fic let me know.


	2. All Eyes on Me

Story: Beautifully Broken

Author: Bellakatalina

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Carter/ Blair. It was an ever-growing list: Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale. Serena. Blair Waldorf lost everything that was important to her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl

"_There's only two types of people in the world:_

_The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe_

_Well baby, I'm a put on a show kind of girl_

_Don't like the backseat, gotta be first"_

Circus, Britney Spears

--

"Let's get out of here." She whispered into his ear.

Carter raised his eyebrow in surprise. She had obviously had a lot to drink this evening, and although she had all these ideas of a new Blair he wasn't sure he should let her try them out in a drunken state.

"Where did you have in mind?" He asked as he pushed a lock of her dark chocolate curls behind her ear.

"Victrola." She said and instantly he reacted.

"Bass' bar? Why?" He asked not wanting to go anywhere that belonged to him.

"I feel like dancing." She said remembering another time when she had let herself go. "You wouldn't deny me, would you?" she asked as she dipped her tongue into his ear.

Obviously the new Blair Waldorf was a tease, Carter thought as inhaled her sent sharply.

"You can dance anywhere." Carter said although he already knew he would be doing whatever she wanted.

She bit his lower earlobe gently before huskily breathing her reply into his ear. "Well, I'm going to go dance and Victrola, and you can come and watch or you can go home alone."

And just as her body had been so close to him, she grabbed her purse and walked toward the doors of the bar leaving him missing her warmth. Carter closed his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath he tried to regain control of his body before quickly setting down a few bills on to the counter and chasing after her.

When he caught up to her outside he tenderly reached out for her arm.

"I called my town car to take us. It should be here in just a moment."

Blair nodded her head. She had ignored the passing cabs because she knew Carter would follow her out. She had no idea where this self-confidence was coming from, the alcohol probably.

As the town car arrived, Carter ushered her inside. He sat down next to Blair brushing against her skin. His eyes traveled down taking all of her in. Her skirt was gathered above her knees where her legs were crossed. His eyes hovered over her creamy legs.

"See something you want?" Blair asked as she watched Carter transfixed.

He didn't attempt to pretend that he hadn't been gawking at her, but he didn't shy away either. As he was raising his sight up toward her face he was once again surprised when Blair moved into his lap straddling him.

"What are you doing, Blair?" he asked as she was kissing his neck. As much as he was enjoying her advances he didn't want to do anything she would regret in the morning.

"I'm doing what I want to when I want to." She said reminding him of the words from earlier. It was all the encouragement Carter needed. He ran his hand through her hair getting his fingers tangled into the mass of curls. He brought her face to his and nuzzled his cheek against hers. She admired the feel of his scruff; it tingled and was different from what she was used to. She let out a small moan when Carter kissed the base of her throat, her weakness.

Blair licked her lips and let Carter tempt her with his touches. Finally, his lips barely touching her found the way to her lips. She was ready to feel his lips against hers, but now it was his turn to tease. His finger traced her pouty lips and she would kiss his finger as they passed over her smooth lips.

Carter finally pressed his lips against her when he noted her exasperated expression. Gently he kissed her lips and traced her bottom lip with his tongue. Blair's lips responded opening for him as she eagerly waited to taste him. Hs tongue softly at first caressed hers, but it was Blair who deepened the kiss. She began to rub herself against him getting carried away by the kiss.

Now it was Carter's turn to moan. "Blair," he said slowly breaking away from the kiss. Her eyes opened to meet his. "You better not start something you can't finish." He said smiling toward her.

She answered him by kissing him roughly, but once again Carter broke away and nodded his head to the window. Blair looked outside and saw Victrola before her.

"C'mon, you said you were going to dance for me." He said as his eyes sparkled in eagerness. "Or are you backing down?" He challenged.

Blair smiled wickedly before grinding herself against his growing erection. Just as quickly she hopped off of his lap.

She plays dirty, Carter thought as he tried to prevent himself from getting more excited.

As she walked into the bar with Carter's hand on the small of her back she quickly glanced over the crowd. It was risky going to Chuck's favorite hangout, but she had the power to lose herself here once so she could do it again. If Chuck were here, he would think it was about him, but it wasn't. She was finished with him.

Blair guided him to an empty couch before pushing him down onto it.

"Enjoy." She said with a wink as she walked toward the d.j.'s table

She smiled coyly at the d.j. A few flirtatious words and he was willing to give her the world, or the song of her choice to dance to on stage. She took a few steps to the stage and the heel of her black Louboutin touched the first step an arm roughly reached out and yanked her back to the floor.

"What do you think you are doing, Waldorf?" He asked seething. "I've been looking for you everywhere. I waited at your house, but you never came home."

Blair's eyes traveled to where he was gripping her arm. Chuck took the hint and released her from his grip.

"Blair, c'mon let's get out of here." Chuck said in a gentler voice.

Blair didn't even take a moment to consider his option. "No, I don't think so. I thought I would grace everyone with a dance."

And in the moment the words were painful for Chuck to swallow. Because right now this isn't the Blair Waldorf he remembers. This isn't the Blair he fell in love with.

"I'm taking your advice, I'm letting go of my fantasies, and don't worry about me saying I love you again. I've realized the error of my ways."

At first Chuck doesn't react. She is throwing his words back in his face from when he was at his lowest and she was trying to help him. For a moment he is disgusted with himself because it makes him remember everything he did and said to her. She was so scared to say those three words to him, but she did it. She was brave and fearless and she said those words to save him from himself, and he threw them back in her face.

She was trying to do the same to him now; only Blair Waldorf hadn't mastered the art of killing the emotions of those she loved. At least he hoped she still loved. Maybe he could save her from herself now. Maybe he could say the three words and bring her back.

"Blair, I'm sorry I hurt you, but there is something I want to say to you."

"Fuck you. This isn't about you."

He didn't want to give up though. Tonight, he would be the man he had failed to be before.

"Blair, I lo-"

But before he could finish his declaration her laughter interrupted him. He looked up at her confused.

"Really, Chuck. You were going to say 'I love you'?" she laughed again cruelly. "I don't want to hear it. It's too late, I told you."

"No, Waldorf, it isn't. I'm not giving up this time."

"You are wasting your time, Bass." She told him honestly. The music of her selected song began to fill the bar she took a step onto the stairs, and turned to look at him over her shoulder, " Now, will you excuse me. I've promised someone a dance."

Chuck's eyes scanned the bar for who ever she could possibly be talking about. His eyes filled with rage when he saw Carter Baizen lustfully watching Blair on stage.

He was hooked from the moment when she began to move her hips in rhythm to the music. Slowly, she removed her white blouse over her head throwing it into the audience. There were a small amount of gasps in the audience at seeing an Upper East Side princess stripping on stage.

Blair only paid attention to the music as she ran her hand down her body. She caught the zipper of her skirt on the way down. The material pooled around her feet when it fell.

Carter sucked in a sharp breath to see Blair Waldorf on stage in her lacy La Perla panties and a cream colored camisole. Her snowy skin reminded him of all the times they had called her Snow White. She was beautiful on stage completely free of all of her inhibitions.

"What the hell are you doing with Waldorf?" Chuck demanded as he reached for the front of Carter's shirt.

Carter smirked at the younger boys reaction. Was Chuck really going to try and compete with Carter over a girl? Had he forgotten who had taught him his womanizing ways?

"Relax, Chuck, we're just have a good time." He could tell by how tense his jaw was that Chuck was not happy with her on stage entertainment. "She looks pretty good up there, huh?" He said egging him on.

"She's too good for you." Chuck said at once.

"Then she is too good for you too." Carter said brushing Chuck's hands away from him. "It kills you that she wants me to fuck her, doesn't it?"

As soon as the words left Carter's mouth, Chuck's fist swung of its own accord and punched his lower temple.

Blair heard the commotion on stage. She could see two men trying to hold back each of the men respectively. Instead continuing the dance she ran down the stairs quickly.

She could hear Chuck's yelling, but she wasn't paying attention. She quickly glanced at Carter who had a smirk on his face before returning her gaze to Chuck.

"What the hell is your problem?" She demanded as the man released Chuck.

"Damn it, Waldorf, would you put some cloths on?" He asked unhappy that everyone could see what was supposed to be his. His bruised lip had a few drops of blood where Carter had obviously punched him back.

Carter put his arm on Blair silently offering her his blazer. She shrugged it on and then took his face in her hands to examine the damage.

"Take me home, Carter?" she asked him and he nodded his head yes.

"No fucking way am I letting him take you home, Waldorf!" Chuck yelled.

"You don't really get a choice in the matter, Chuck." Blair said not even averting her eyes from Carter's face. She slipped her small hand into his much larger one and made her way to the town car. She could hear Chuck yelling behind her but she didn't care.

"You are so beautiful." Carter said to her and she smiled. She loved hearing that word from him. He truly thought she was beautiful. A bit of a disaster, but beautiful. But, he never did care what the Upper East Side thought, and as long as she was happy that was all that mattered.

--

Blair knew her parents were out of town, so she asked him to take her home. She wanted to feel in control of the situation. Blair was trying desperately not to analyze what was going on. She wanted to do this, so that was all that mattered. This was the new Blair Waldorf after all.

Carter smiled as he watched Blair. It was as if he could literally watch her mind working. She wasn't a one-night stand type of girl. He liked her, he did. He could tell she was lost, and for once, he thought, he could be the good guy. He could save her the way he had to save himself from their world.

He gave her hand a soft squeeze bringing her away from her thoughts. He smiled at her before bringing her hand to his lips, and kissing his way up her arm to her neck.

"Do you want to come up for a drink?" She asked shyly as they pulled up to her building. He nodded his head yes as he continued to kiss his way to her neck.

"Okay, we're here." She replied nervously trying to regain control of the situation.

He smirked at her admiring the slight color on her cheeks. "You just danced at a burlesque club, but inviting me up for a drink makes you nervous?"

He offered her his hand and easily pulled her from the car. Blair began to feel self-conscious as she entered her building in only her underwear and Carter's coat.

"You don't care what they think, remember?" he whispered silently into her ear. She nodded her head in agreement and straightened her posture as she walked to the elevator.

"You looked so sexy up there." Carter told her as he held her close in the elevator.

"You want to see the private show?" she asked with the confidence she had earlier in the evening.

He smirked at her forwardness. As they enter the penthouse Blair went to the bar to pour them some drinks. This would prove to Chuck Bass how over him she was. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face when she told him she had slept with Carter.

Instead of handing Carter his drink, she placed it on the coffee table and straddled him. She had already removed his coat and was in only her lingerie once again. As she planted kisses along his jaw she began to unbutton his shirt.

"I think you are over dressed." She said as he ran his hands over her petit form. He relished in the feel of her smooth skin, and slipped his hands underneath her panties to lightly skim the skin he had not yet seen. She gasped slightly at the sensation, but then moved his hands back up her back.

When Blair had removed his shirt she reached back to remove her camisole. She wanted to feel skin against skin, and was surprised he hadn't done so already.

"Wait." Carter said as he gently took his arms preventing her from taking of the cloth. "I want you." He said his voice husky; he needed to make that statement clear before he continued.

"Good. I want you too."

"We can't do this." He said and instantly he regretted the words when he saw her face. "I don't want you to do this to get back at Chuck." He said explaining. "Because the new Blair Waldorf does things because she wants to without caring what other people think."

"Okay." She said quietly because she saw the truth behind the words. She did want him, but she also wanted to hurt Chuck. "Then will you just stay here with me tonight because I want you to?" She asked.

He smiled as he lowered his lips to hers once again. "Just try and keep me away."

--

A/N Thanks for the support for the story. I will continue as long as people are interested. There will be some ch/b as well to keep the story flowing. Let me know what you think!


	3. Will You Feel Better

Story: Beautifully Broken, Will You Feel Better

Author: Bellakatalina

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Carter/ Blair. It was an ever-growing list: Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale. Serena. Blair Waldorf lost everything that was important to her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl

"If I kiss you where it's sore

Will you feel better, better, better

Will you feel anything at all"

--

When the sun came in through Blair's window the bright rays caused Carter to wake. He smiled down at the brunette that was curled into him as she slept. She was very affectionate he noticed.

Carter turned his head to check the time without moving his body around. His eyes raised in shock to see it was a quarter past seven.

"Blair…" he said as gently shook her form. "Baby, you're going to be late for class."

He knew that Constance started the same time as St. Judes, and Blair Waldorf was not one to skip school.

"So?" she asked as she snuggled closer to him.

"Well you don't want to skip do you? I heard you in line form valedictorian." He wouldn't admit that by heard he meant read…on gossip girl. She didn't need to know that.

"This is the new Blair, remember?" she said as she lifted the covers higher. "So let's go back to sleep." She demanded as she rose up to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

Can't argue with that, Carter thought as he tried drifting back to sleep.

"That's what I thought." Blair said when she noticed Carter closing his eyes but he couldn't help but smile.

It was almost two hours later when ringing started. Blair groaned and tried to ignore the sound.

"That's yours." Carter said sleepily and sure enough when Blair looked up it was her cell phone making the awful noise. She ignored the call and the missed text messages without even glancing at them.

Blair laid her head back down for a second before realizing she was actually awake this time. She sat up straddling Carter before kissing his neck.

"I'm going to take a shower. You can join if you like…" she said with a wink before quickly hopping off.

It took Carter a few minutes to make his decision, but finally he opened to door to Blair's bathroom without so much as a knock.

He watched her through the sheer curtain. Although, he couldn't see her perfectly there was not much left to the imagination. He watched as she lathered the soap over her perky breasts. She had heard him enter and was playing with him for leaving her waiting.

"Just going to stand there and watch or are you going to give me a hand?" she said letting him know he had been caught.

Carter cleared his throat before replying, "Actually, I thought I would go back to my place and shower there."

He didn't need to be able to see through the curtain to know her face fell. She tried to maneuver herself so he couldn't see as much of her exposed body.

"Fine. Do whatever you want." Blair said acting as if she didn't care. Carter smiled at her tone.

It wasn't that he didn't want to. He was just interested in taking things slowly. He didn't want to speed through everything with this New Blair, especially since she had been through so much the previous evening.

"I thought it would be best if I had a change of clothes before taking you out for breakfast."

Blair hesitated for a second weighing her options: Old Blair would have gotten upset and tried to make him feel miserable, too. New Blair didn't make plans or play games. She chose to be honest.

"I'd rather you come in here, but I suppose I can settle for breakfast."

Carter grinned. "Glad you are willingly to acquiesce. I'll be back in an hour."

"Okay." She replied.

"See you soon, beautiful."

And just like that her smile was back.

--

As Blair looked through her closet she realized that she would need to find some new clothes. New Blair would not be wearing tights. She didn't care if she was viewed as pristine and innocent anymore. No more headbands either.

She eyed a dress that she had never worn. Gifted from Serena last year, a short Marc Jacobs dress in an electric blue. Without giving it a second thought Blair slipped the dress over her shoulders. She grabbed a pair of peep-toe Manolo's. Instead of blow-drying her hair and then styling her hair into perfect curls, she towel dried her hair letting it fall into the natural waves. A little lip-gloss and mascara and she was finished.

Blair glanced at the clock. Carter wouldn't be back for forty minutes. How did she get ready so quickly? Blair sighed before collapsing onto her bed and looking at her phone.

_Might as well answer some texts with the spare time, she mussed._

**B**

**Where are you? Call me!**

**-Serena**

When Blair came to the gossip girl text she deleted it without even giving it a glance.

**Blair**

**Skipping class now are we? We need to talk. I can send the **_**limo**_** for you.**

**-Chuck**

Blair read it through once and deleted the message. There was nothing left to say in her opinion.

**B**

**Are you sick? You've missed the test in French! Please call me!**

**-Serena**

Blair sighed as she decided to respond to her friend.

**S,**

**I'm fine. Let's go shopping at 1 and I'll explain.**

**-B**

Blair got up to gather her purse when the beep.

**B**

**Can't have class, like you do!**

**-Serena**

Since when had Serena become so invested in not skipping? Blair had never skipped a class in her life. So one wasn't a big deal.

**S,**

**Then call me when you're free and I'll try and squeeze you in.**

**-B**

After wasting time picking at her nails, Blair looked out her window and smiled when she saw Carter's black limo pull up.

_He's early! Couldn't stay away! _

She grabbed her purse and ran to the elevator. She smoothed her dress down while the elevator rushed downward. Her dress that barely covered mid-thigh.

When she left the elevator she smile faded away quickly.

"What are you doing here Bass?" Blair asked annoyed.

"You didn't answer my texts, so I came to you." He said as he looked at her appearance. "What's going on with you?" He wouldn't deny that he liked her new look, but he didn't want the rest of the Upper East Side privileged to seeing her perfect legs.

"Chuck, I thought you knew already, we're over. Actually, we haven't even been together in like a year. You're not my boyfriend, and I'm not you're girlfriend. Which if I remember correctly you loved to remind me of, so I'm just enjoying myself."

"Blair, this isn't you." Chuck said because he knew the true Blair Waldorf, and the skipping class and revealing clothes were not part of that formula.

She looked into his eyes to let him see how clearly her eyes matched her lips so he could not dispute it. "It is now."

The words were like a stab to the gut to Chuck. He knew he had chased her away, but he always thought there would be another chance.

"Is this just another one of your games to make me feel miserable? Okay Waldorf, you win. I fucked up, I'm a dick, but can we just skip to the part where we are Chuck and Blair again?" he asked hoping she was just trying to be difficult.

Blair looked at Chuck unsure of how she could be anymore clear that what she had already said.

"Blair?" she heard Carter's voice ask as if he was interrupting something.

She smiled when she saw him approaching and then turned back to Chuck.

"Look, I don't have time for this. Just tell yourself one of those wonderful speeches you told me about how we would never work or how much you didn't want me, okay?" Blair said as she began to walk into Carter's direction.

"You can't honestly be dating this asshole, Blair?" Chuck demanded.

She stopped in her tracks to address him one more time.

"Not that it is any of your business…" Carter smiled smugly at this. "I'm not."

Carter tried to quickly recover from the frown that had covered his face. It was true that he had only sat down with her last night, but they had been so intimate without having sex. It couldn't really be defined as a one-night-stand either.

"For the first time in my life, I'm just having fun." She said before going to Carter and kissing him passionately.

"Let's go eat. I'm famished."

--

Carter had been unable to stop thinking about what she had said to Chuck. Of course they weren't dating. He couldn't have said they were even friends really, but he couldn't deny how much he hated hearing the truth from her lips.

"Blair, what are we doing?" he asked before he could prevent the question from spilling from his lips.

She eyed him oddly before answering, "Well, we had agreed to go get breakfast, but honestly I think it's more lunch time." She said.

He rubbed his forehead with his left hand. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Carter had never had a serious relationship. He wasn't opposed to keeping one woman around for a little while, but usually by the time he was bored he was moving off to another country. But, the thought of moving away from Blair seemed unlikely.

"No." He said as he felt a bit of pride escape him. "You and me. What are we doing?"

Blair looked at him for a second before letting out a small laugh. "Huh. I don't think I have ever been on this side of one of these talks." She added with another giggle.

"Well, I'm glad you are amused." Carter said not shying away from making eye contact, but his cheeks were turning a slight crimson.

"Doesn't protocol expect a few more dates before "the talk"?" Blair asked enjoying the upper hand in this situation. She admired how although clearly Carter didn't want to be asking this question he a) wanted her enough to have this talk and b) he actually maintained eye contact through out. She admired that he didn't shy away from looking at her.

"Do you want me to take you out a few more times and then have this talk." Carter said as he rolled his eyes.

Blair smiled before thinking it through. "I don't want a relationship, Carter. I want to have fun." She replied honestly.

"Doesn't it tell you something about your past relationships if you can't categorize them as fun?"

He had noticed that she continued to label these items as if it were black and white.

"You can be in a relationship _and_ have fun, Blair."

Blair bit her lip thinking about this possibility. She liked Carter, but she didn't want to put pressure into anything right now.

"How about this, I will stay with you as long as I'm still having fun and you can call it whatever you want." Blair said as she looked at him.

It wasn't exactly the answer he wanted, but it wasn't exactly a no either.

"So, what about other guys?" Carter asked.

"Well, I guess you are just going to have to make sure you can satisfy my needs." Blair said with a raised eyebrow.

Carter smirked at this. "Oh, I know I can satisfy your needs." He scouted closer to her until he had closed the small space between them. His finger reached out and moved her hair away from the base of her throat and left feather soft kisses until he reached the spot he knew made her squirm. Just as she moaned the car came to a stop.

"Well, Miss Waldorf, the restaurant awaits. You did say you were famished after all?" Carter smiled at her knowingly.

--

To say that Chuck was displeased was an understatement. He had thought coming here during his lunch hour and confessing everything would give him the fresh start with Blair. Obviously, Carter had poisoned her mind, Chuck thought as he pulled out his phone.

"_Serena, we need to talk. It's about Blair."_

Serena knew that something was going on with her friend, and if Chuck was as worried as he sounded, it must be bad. She quickly agreed to leave her lunch on the steps of the Met to see Chuck.

She met him back at their penthouse. By the time she had walked there Chuck had already downed two glasses of Scotch.

"What's going on, Chuck?" Serena asked not wasting time with greetings.

"She's changing. She isn't Blair anymore." Chuck said as Serena pulled the glass out of his hands.

"Care to expand upon that?"

"I tried yesterday and today, but nothing."

Serena sighed exasperated. "Okay, Chuck, I'm trying here, but you've got to connect the dots for me."

"I went to tell her how I felt last night, but she never showed. I gave up and went to Victrola, thought I would go back in the morning, but imagine my surprise when she was there with Carter."

"Carter Baizen?" Serena asked shocked. "No." she said shaking her head. "She wouldn't."

"Well, she did. I tried to talk some reason into her, but she didn't want to hear it. I tried to tell her how I feel…about her and… ugh… she laughed." Chuck finally looked up into Serena's eyes. "I'm losing her to Carter. She's not Blair anymore."

Serena sat down on the couch next to him.

"She turned me away from her last night, too." Serena said hoping it would soften the blow. "Blair didn't get into Yale, and she isn't taking it very well."

Serena looked down to ground guilty. "I…I got mad at her though. I yelled at her. I blamed her for the gossip girl blast. I told her betrayal is in her nature."

Chuck looked at her with disgust, "You did this after she finds out she didn't get into Yale?" Chuck asked her as if she was stupid. Even he wouldn't have dared hurt Blair after receiving news like that.

"I know." Serena said in a small voice. "So what do we do?"

"Get her away from Carter. Do you think you can get her back in your good graces?" Chuck asked knowing Blair wouldn't listen to his jealous ex-boyfriend rant again.

Serena nodded her head yes. "She texted me earlier; she wanted to go shopping."

"Good to know she hasn't completely changed." Chuck answered in a soft mutter.

"But, how do I get her away from Carter? How do we get her back to normal?"

"Don't plan the intervention just yet. Just tell her he is scum and hopefully she'll back off. Try and send her my way." Chuck smarmed.

"This is about Blair, okay Chuck. I'm not helping you do your dirty work. After everything she did, as hard as she fought, you think you can get her back by going by her house one night and the next morning?"

"Fine. Can we at least agree to get her away from Carter?" He asked annoyed.

"I think we should talk to Carter, too. I think we can get him to stay away." Chuck raised his eyes in curiosity, but she offered no further explanation.

Santorini. It would keep Carter away from Blair, Serena thought sadly. It was something she didn't want to admit to anyone, but she would have to for Blair.

--

It was easy to tell from the smile on her face that Blair was enjoying herself. Carter never seemed to run dry of amusing stories.

They were sitting side by side in an outdoor restaurant. Seeing her like that so carefree and happy, he couldn't resist kissing her right then and there. Blair whimpered as his hand crept down the hemline of her dress feeling the skin underneath.

"Don't start something you can't finish." She said as she swatted his hand away.

Carter leaned into her and whispered throatily in her ear, "Who said I can't finish?" and he dipped his tongue into her ear. The hot breathe in her ear caused her to arch her back. "Careful, don't want to give away our secret, Blair." Carter demanded as his hand pried her thighs farther apart.

She sat up straight and eased her legs farther apart for him. Slowly his hands crept up her legs to toward the moistening heat. He quickly brushed his fingers against her panties and could feel how quickly she was getting wet.

"Eager are we?" he asked but Blair didn't deny her lust as she replied a breathy, "yes."

Just to make sure she wasn't the only one, Blair reached over and grabbed the harden cock into her petite hand.

"Nuh uh." He said moving her hand away. "You first."

He ran his two fingers up and down her panties as she tried to push against them to increase the pressure. Carter smirked as he watched Blair trying to stay as composed as possible. Finally, Carter pushed her panties to the side and dipped one finger to spread her apart.

"God you're so wet," he told her as he felt the proof of her arousal on his finger. He was barely touching her yet driving her crazy. He flicked his finger up until he found her clit and heard her moan softly as he slowly began to rub the mound with his fingers.

Blair was dying for her release. She had wanted this since the bar last night. "Please, Carter."

His fingers moved farther south at her request. His index finger slowly filled her as he pushed it in and out gaining a rhythm. She was clenching herself around his finger.

Blair had to bite her lip from moaning louder as he moved his middle finger in, too. He pushed in deeper and faster. The instant he found her g-spot she was not able to suppress her cry.

"Oh God!" She said loudly and then realized her error when restaurant goers looked over at her table. "That…the food was so good…so good."

Carter laughed softly at her. "Nice cover." He said as he continued his actions.

"I'm close." She whispered. Carter's thumb flicked her clit over and over. It was all she needed to send her over the edge. Carter kissed her lips preventing more cries form escaping. When he was sure she would keep quiet he pulled away slightly to watch her ride out her orgasm.

"You're beautiful." He replied as he noted her flushed skin.

Now that is was over, Blair blushed. She had an orgasm in public, what if someone new?

"We should go." Blair said getting embarrassed.

"Are you blushing, Blair?" Carter teased. "What's wrong?" His hands ran over her sex again making her nervous. She pulled his hand away and readjusted her clothes.

Carter pulled his wallet out and left the money on the table. He knew she was ready to escape, so he stood up and offered her his arm.

"Ready to go?" he asked knowing the answer.

"I can't believe we did that." She said thrilled and bashful at the same time.

"Sure you don't want another round?" He asked as he wriggled his eyebrows. Blair shook her head no quickly. "Once was plenty."

The couple walked toward the awaiting limo.

The incoming text on Carter's phone drew his attention away from Blair momentarily. He frowned when he saw whom it was from because he knew it could not be ignored.

**We need to talk.**

**-S**

--

Reviews and suggestions are loved!


	4. Wasteland

Story: Beautifully Broken, Wasteland

Author: Bellakatalina

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Carter/ Blair. It was an ever-growing list: Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale. Serena. Blair Waldorf lost everything that was important to her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl

"Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?

This is a wastleland now."

Slow Hands, Interpol

--

Just like a coin there are two sides to every story. Case in point, Santorini.

Europe had been Serena's escape from past indiscretions. She couldn't face Blair after sleeping with her boyfriend, so for a while she enjoyed everything in excess. Serena had always been a party girl but in Europe where her name wouldn't precede everything she did she really let her hair down.

She buried secrets she wanted no one to know.

Carter was enjoying life jumping from country to country until the thrill of the party was no more. When the alcohol and the women had worn off he would show up at the train station and end up in a different country.

He did not hide his misdeeds, so when Serena sent him the text message he had come on his way to meet her.

"Serena, to what to I owe this honor?" Carter asked as he entered the Bass suite as if he owned it.

"What's going on with you and Blair?" Serena asked with her arms crossed over her chest, as she stayed seated on the couch.

"Skipping the pleasantries I see. I don't blame you and hate the fake smiles and small talk." He said sincerely.

"Your corrupting Blair." Serena said matter-of-factly. Carter let out a small chuckle at this.

"You are her best friend and you think I am corrupting her? She dated Chuck Bass for Christ's sake." He said as he sat down across from her.

"I've changed." She said, but then decided to change her tactic. After all, this was about Blair not about how reformed Serena had become. Serena shook her head in disagreement. "She isn't Blair anymore. Maybe before she would do something wild, but now she just looks so defeated."

"Maybe she is changing, what is so wrong with that? Like you said you changed." Carter said not understanding the point of this discussion.

"You've changed her in a negative way, Carter. When I saw her at the bar she looked so…so broken. She didn't have a plan or a way to make things right anymore. She just didn't care."

"At the bar." Carter reiterated. "She was like that before I got to her, so I am actually trying to be there for her."

It was Serena's turn to laugh. "Like you were there for me in Santorini?" She asked sarcastically.

"People change." Carter said with a smirk.

"But not you. I'll tell her about Santorini." She threatened him meeting his eyes.

Carter didn't break contact. "Go ahead. The only reason I didn't say anything earlier is because I didn't think you wanted your dirty laundry aired."

Serena stood up getting angry. "My dirty laundry?" she asked her voice rising. "That was your idea."

Carter smiled again. "Yes, I agree it was my idea to steal the yacht, but I'm not the one who lifted the anchor. We were in that completely together."

"You were the one who had the drugs." Serena said trying to take away any guilt.

"If I wouldn't have given it to you, you would have gotten it somewhere else. It's not like it was your first time." Carter asked remembering how she had begged for the Ecstasy he had.

"Well, what do you think she will say when I tell Blair you forced me to have sex with you." Serena said in barely a whisper.

Carter's face paled at the words.

"You wouldn't." He challenged.

"For Blair I would." Serena said as she regained her courage.

"I never forced you to do a thing you didn't want to do." Carter said standing to his full height and look down at Serena.

"Maybe not, but how farfetched would it be? All the drugs, the alcohol I could say it was date-rape, and who do you think she would believe."

"That is bullshit and you know it, Serena. You came on to me."

Serena ran her hand through her wild hair as she pieced together her memories of that night. "Yes, what was it you were telling me that night? About how perfect I was. How, I was nothing like the Blair Waldorfs of the world, weren't those your words?" Serena smiled. "And that is true." She added because truthfully saying he had raped her had only been a threat. She would never lie about that to anyone.

"You know that would only hurt her." Carter said quietly.

"If it gets her away from you then it's worth it."

"Serena, why can't you see that I am not causing this? Believe it or not, I want to help her." He said annoyed. "I'll tell her what happened between the two of us if you want. I'll even add how we got caught by the cops and you offered to sleep with them to keep us out of jail."

Serena winced when she remembered in her drunkenness that she had actually suggested that. Luckily, Carter had been wiser and bribed them with money instead.

"I can tell her that I wanted you to stay with me, but you left me without a word in the morning, and that is all we had 24 hours in Santorini."

"That's all I was? Twenty-four hours in Santornini?" Serena asked curious.

"That is all it was, Serena. I don't have any underlying feelings for you. I promise."

"So, how do I know this more than your 24 hours with Blair Waldorf."

For a moment he was silent. It was true he hadn't even had 24 hours with Blair. He wasn't a relationship guy, but when he saw Blair sitting at the bar by herself it reminded him of how he felt. It reminded Carter how their world had made him run away because it breaks everyone. And, he didn't want to see Blair Waldorf broken.

He probably never would have cared for the brown-eyed girl had he not seen her so broken, but when she let her vulnerability show he saw how it had always been there. She had never been this self-assured, confident girl. It had always been an act. But, how could he explain all of his feelings to Serena?

"Because what other option do you have other than to trust me right now?" Carter asked knowing that Serena had hurt her, too. "She probably won't tell anyone except me what she's feeling right now. But, don't take my word for it, go talk to her yourself. You haven't spoken to her since you told her what a horrible person she is, have you?" Carter asked.

For a moment Serena felt ashamed and needed to defend herself again. "I went to the bar, but she didn't want to talk." She replied and Carter nodded his head.

Serena was giving in he could see it. She wanted what was best for her friend.

"Will she ever be the old Blair again?" Serena asked hopefully.

Carter thought about this statement for a moment before replying.

"If she isn't will you still love her?" The words brought tears to her eyes. How dare he say something like that to her!

"Of course I will! She is my sister!" She yelled at him.

Carter nodded his head. "Then the answer doesn't really matter. Just be there for her." With that he looked to the exit ready to leave.

"This doesn't make us friends, Carter." He knew. She still believed he was responsible for their night in Santorini, but he was used to getting the blame he didn't deserve.

--

Chuck gripped the flowers in his hand tightly. He was nervous. The last two times he had spoken to Blair hadn't gone well, but she would listen to him, she had to.

He entered the empty penthouse calling her name, but getting no response.

Chuck walked up the stairs to her room where he could here loud music playing. The door was slightly cracked open and, he pushed father. Chuck smiled when he saw Blair dancing around her room. She was so carefree it was beautiful. His smile faded when he saw in her other hand was a bottle of champagne.

He entered her room without invitation and turned of her stereo. The silence surprised Blair momentarily, she turned around to investigate the cause of the silence and found him.

"Ch-huck!" She said with a hiccough. "What are you doing here?" She asked smiling.

"Haven't I taught you better? Drinking by yourself at this hour?" Chuck chastised.

Blair held out the bottle as if it was an offering, but Chuck turned his nose up.

"Couldn't find a glass?" And with that friendly Blair was gone.

"What do you want Ch-huck." She hiccoughed again.

Chuck sighed in defeat. He was coming to apologize and already he was giving her ammunition to use against him.

"I wanted to talk to you, about us." He said finally as he laid down the flowers on her desk.

Blair walked to where he was standing next to him. She put the bottle next to the flowers and smiled coquettishly.

"About us?" she asked as she breathed his sent in. His spicy cologne could never hide the tint of cigarettes, but she found the sent oddly familiar.

With her so close to him he couldn't think properly. He nodded his head.

Blair pushed herself against him. Her lips were so close to his she could almost taste him.

"I thought there was no us." She said as her eyes locked on his lips. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips and the sight entranced Chuck.

"There could be." He whispered.

"Really? Because I don't think you want me." Blair said as she brought her hand up to run through his hair.

"I do." He said huskily.

Blair dipped her head up and pressed her lips against Chuck's but just as quickly as it happened he pushed her away.

"See?" Blair said as she stepped back. "You always say you want me, but you never seem to mean it."

"Blair- no I-" but he was interrupted.

"I think you should go." Blair said as she demonstrated toward the door.

"I want you Blair, but not like this."

She smiled as if he had just validated her point. "No Chuck, the only time you wanted me was when I was a virgin. Isn't that what you told me, you wanted to be the first to have me? Well, now that I am not this innocent girl you don't want me. I can't be that girl again."

"It's not like that Blair. You know it isn't. Just talk to me, please. Tell me what is going on."

She turned away from him not wanting to look at him anymore. He wouldn't be ignored though. He moved to her and grabbed her hand.

"The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through anything." Chuck reminded her of the words she had used hoping it would trigger her old self.

"You aren't very original, are you?" Blair asked annoyed.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you with Carter?" Chuck asked rebuffing her decline.

Blair laughed loudly now. All of the puzzle pieces had fit perfectly into place.

"You don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me either." She smiled at his twisted logic.

"No, Blair. I don't want him around you because…because I love you."

She looked at him for a moment speechless.

"Well, that's too bad because love doesn't give you anything. It destroys you. It takes everything away from you. I would know." She finished softly.

"Please, just leave me alone, Chuck." She asked defeated.

For once Chuck was at a loss for words. He took one last look at Blair who would meet his eyes and left.

Blair looked at the flowers on her desk and quickly grabbed them throwing it into the trash.

Chuck Bass would not be a part of New Blair's life.

--

Reviews/ Feedback? I'm curious to see who everyone wants Blair to end up with?

Up next- Blair and Serena time and some Blair/Carter since there wasn't any in this scene!

Also, I usually try to reply to all reviews but I have not done that this entire story. I apologize so I promise to start again. Thank you for those who have reviewed it's really what keeps me writing!

Oedipa's Rainbow- Thanks, I know it has mainly been just Carter/ Blair, but I will be including more of the characters throughout the fic.

Desi- Hope you like this take on Santorini, I felt like Carter gets blamed for everything, but that was also when Wild Serena was around so I feel she played an equal role in it.

Stardazedlover- thanks for the postive reviews!

Chairforever- Carter is interested in Blair, but he also has never had a real relationship so that will be playing into the story. Along with New Blair not wanting a relationship.

Mystipedskirt- thanks for the feedback. Carter is going to be helping her let her hair down for a while.

Xxktnxx- Thank you for the kind words!


	5. Bad Romance

Story: Beautifully Broken

Author: Bellakatalina

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Carter/ Blair. It was an ever-growing list: Her mother. Nate. Chuck. Her father. Yale. Serena. Blair Waldorf lost everything that was important to her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl

"I want your ugly

I want your disease

I want your everything

As long as it's free

I want your love"

He was infuriating bringing flowers and confessing his love. Blair grabbed the bottle of champagne taking another sip.

How could she make herself anymore clear she wondered as she eyed herself in the mirror. She had thought her wardrobe change showed her she was no longer the old Blair, but maybe something more drastic was needed. Blair studied every feature in the mirror and ran a hand through her messy curls.

Her hair. That was it!

Chuck had always loved her long chocolate tendrils. Before thinking about it, Blair replaced the bottle in her hands with the scissors on her desk. As if she knew what she was doing Blair began cutting away at her hair, watching each lock fall to the floor.

"What are you doing, Blair?" Serena yelled as she found her friend looking deep in thought.

"It is t-time for a change Ser-rena." Blair replied as she kept cutting pieces of hair right above her shoulders.

Serena grabbed the scissors out of her hand ignoring the protests Blair cried.

"Well, this just looks bad." Blair said as she examined her half cut hair.

"I promise you it would have been worst if I let you finish. Are you drunk?" Serena asked smelling the alcohol on her.

Blair picked up the empty bottle of champagne and examined it before replying, "Possibly."

"Go get in the shower while I make an appointment with someone to fix your hair. It looks terrible." Serena demanded.

"When did you become so bossy?" Blair asked as she walked toward the bathroom.

"Well, someone has to pick up your slack. You're welcome to take over at any time." Serena offered hoping her rude, demanding Blair would come back.

"No thanks." She answered as she closed the door. Serena rolled her eyes and went make the appointment as her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out quickly to check.

**Serena**

**Did we get rid of Carter?**

**CB**

She would have to talk to him later. He wouldn't understand, but if this really was the new Blair she wouldn't risk losing her by trying to change her. That would not be a pleasant conversation.

By the time Blair came out of the shower, she had sobered up a bit. Serena had a cup of coffee waiting for her.

"Any recommendations on what I should do about this?" She asked as she demonstrated toward her hair.

"I've got you squeezed in for an appointment in forty. We should probably leave soon." Serena answered surprised by how calm Blair was being in regards to her impromptu haircut.

"You want to go shopping after? I need some new clothes." Blair asked remembering how difficult it had been earlier to find something to wear.

Serena nodded her head. "We could fill out some college application, too. There are certain schools still accepting applications." She was pushing a bit, but she had to.

"Thanks, but I don't think I'm cut out for the college life." Blair said as she looked through her closet. "What do you think about this?"

"It looks great. Just make sure you pull your hair up." Serena teased.

"Yeah, I think we can cross hair stylist of my talents." Blair said smiling at Serena for the first time since she showed up.

"I never thought I would have to hide scissors from you," Serena laughed. "C'mon we should head out, B."

This can work, Serena thought, this can work.

--

She was feeling restless.

She had done serious damage on her Black Amex, but everything was now packed away in her closet. She had pulled the conservative dresses, tights and headbands into a pile and forced Dorota to take them all away. Besides, her new angled-bob wouldn't work with headbands.

Now, she wanted to play.

She smiled as she grabbed her phone and typed away.

Lonely. Come play. Meet at Bungalow 8.

XOXO,

B

The first answer was predictable.

**Waldorf,**

**Of course. See you soon.**

**CB**

She knew Chuck would be the first to reply. But she was surprised by the second.

**Sounds cool. Who's going?**

**Nate**

She ignored it as she flagged down a cab.

**B,**

**On my way!**

**S**

She was getting annoyed that _he_ wouldn't answer her, but Blair knew that once she got to Bungalow he would be waiting for her.

Tonight they would all play.

She was right, he was there waiting for her with his bourbon in his hand and her martini waiting across from him. She smiled.

"Your hair looks sexy." Carter said as she sat at the table. He reached across the table to push a lock of her hair behind her ear. "You look hot." He said making her feel amazing.

"We're going to need a bigger table." He raised an eyebrow in response.

"Well, you didn't answer so I thought I might need reinforcements."

Before he could even ask who to expect, they were approached by two more group members.

"Blair, Serena appears to be under the impression that you also invited her here, can you please inform her she isn't." Chuck said before his eyes fell on Carter.

"What did you do to your hair?" He demanded as he finally focused on her.

"Of course she is!" Blair smiled ignoring the questing about her hair. Instead she picked up her martini glass. "Cheers!"

When Chuck looked from her to the man seated at the table his smirk fell of his lips.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Chuck growled.

Carter gave him a grin before reaching across the table and giving Blair a kiss on her bottom lip.

"I'll go get a bigger table." He responded as Chuck glared at him.

"Play nice or you won't get to stay." Blair said staring at Chuck.

"Fine."

Serena looked at between the two. No good was going to come from this. Her talk had not gone well with Chuck. He had been furious to say the least, but he had vowed to do whatever necessary to get the old Blair back. When she asked him what he would if the old Blair was gone and not coming back he simply ignored her.

"Hey guys" Nate offered when he joined them.

"Nate!" Blair smiled happily before he too mentioned her hair.

Carter crept up behind her and slipped his arms around Blair. "I said it once, but I'll say it again, it looks good on you," he whispered into her ear.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Nate yelled as unhappy as Chuck that Carter was present. Blair rolled her eyes.

"Calm down." Serena replied before telling him quietly that she would explain later.

"C'mon they got us a bigger table." Carter said as he ushered Blair not caring if anyone else followed.

Both Chuck and Nate glared at Carter. When the waitress appeared Blair quickly took charge.

"We are going to need a bottle of Patron to start." She said smiling sweetly. She looked around at her friends as if daring them to protest.

"I thought a little alcohol would loosen us up." Blair offered.

"I think it's going to take more than alcohol." Nate replied still eyeing Carter.

"Get over it, Archibald." Carter said though he offered no explanation to Blair's inquisitive look.

The waitress returned with five shot glasses filled and the rest of the bottle. The group passed around the drinks quietly.

"Well, here's to tonight. I think it's going to be a hell of a night!" Blair exclaimed with mischief.

Chuck had never been a fan of tequila, but he would play Waldorf's game. There was no way he was going to leave.

"You do know what Carter did to Nathaniel don't you?" Chuck challenged Blair.

Blair looked at him for a moment before deciding if she would take the bait. "What did he do to Nate?" Blair asked with a roll of her eyes.

"He set me up- that's what he did." Nate yelled angrily.

"Please," Carter replied perfectly calm. "I didn't make you bet your money away."

Instead of saying anything Blair poured another round of shots.

"Not going to defend him, Blair?" Chuck asked.

"Drink up." Blair smiled as she downed a second shot.

"Is someone going to tell me what the hell is going on here?" Nate asked.

"We are going to play a game." Blair said as she gathered the empty glasses once more. "But we should be a little bit drunk, I think."

"Are you seriously friends with him?" Nate asked confused.

"Actually, we are dating." Carter clarified hoping Blair wouldn't correct him to their arrangement.

Both Chuck and Nate glanced at Blair in disbelief. Serena reached for the bottle of tequila instead of getting involved in the tiff. After words and shouts Nate left the table.

"Well, I guess a game of poker wouldn't have convinced him then?" Blair asked teasingly.

The waitress returned with fresh drinks as everyone knew at the rate they were going drinking straight tequila would get them too far.

"How about 'Never Have I Ever'" Blair asked as she sipped her fresh martini.

Chuck smirked knowing he could use this to his advantage.

"Great I'll go first. Never have I ever slept with Carter Baizen." Chuck said and turned to face Serena.

Serena sipped her drink as she glared at Chuck. She would yell at him later.

"You have to drink, Blair." She replied softly trying to change the focus from her.

Her lips were tense as she still focused on Serena. "Actually, no I don't. We haven't slept together." Chuck smiled triumphantly. "Yet." She added and watched his face fall.

--

Author's note

It has been forever, I know, but I am back! I hope people are still interested in it! It is definitely going to be more Carter/Blair than I originally planned. Hope I didn't lose everyone. Feedback?


	6. Merrier the More

Story: Beautifully Broken

Author: Bellakatalina

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl

"Babe, pick a night

To come out and play

If it's alright

What do you say?

Merrier the more

Triple fun that way

Twister on the floor

What do you say?"

Britney Spears, 3

--

"Never have I ever slept with Carter Baizen." Chuck said and turned to face Serena.

Serena sipped her drink as she glared at Chuck. She would yell at him later.

"You have to drink, Blair." She replied softly trying to change the focus from her.

Her lips were tense as she still focused on Serena. "Actually, no I don't. We haven't slept together." Chuck smiled triumphantly.

"Yet." She added and watched his face fall.

"Has to be hard knowing Serena was there first." Chuck said poking the blade in further.

"Shut up Chuck" Serena yelled as Carter yelled a version with more profanities.

"Maybe we should play a different game." Serena suggested not liking the direction the game had gone.

"You know, I always loved truth or dare." Blair said remembering the fun she had always had with the juvenile game.

Serena nodded her head. Carter and Chuck would willingly go along with any of her plans.

"So S, truth or dare?" She asked her friend.

Serena hesitated for a moment weighing her options. Seeing how reckless Blair was being with alcohol she wasn't sure what she was openly getting herself into. Better be safe than sorry.

"Truth."

"That's no fun." Blair pouted as she thought of an acceptable question to ask.

"What happened between you and Carter?" Blair asked.

On her side she could feel as Carter tensed at the question, but it was the perfect way for Blair to confront the situation and move on. She had known there had been something between Carter and Serena, unfortunately Chuck had already gotten them to admit they had slept together.

All eyes were on Serena as they waited for her response.

"We slept together once a few years ago. We were both pretty drunk. It didn't mean anything." Serena told her honestly.

Chuck cursed under his breath. He had hoped the confession would cause more drama and push Blair away from Carter.

"And that's it?" Blair asked forgetting about the game momentarily.

"I promise, B. It was never more than that."

Carter took her hand in his and used his thumb to draw circles on the back of her hand. He was thankful Serena had decided to be honest with Blair.

"Still, Blair, that's twice know isn't it?" Chuck asked feigning innocence. When Blair wrinkled her forehead in confusion he elaborated, "Nate and now Carter."

"Let it go, Chuck." Serena threatened. Chuck shrugged his shoulders as if unaware that he was causing trouble.

"Make sure to keep tabs on who Serena has a one-night-stand with, Waldorf," Chuck said to her as he ruthlessly continued," because it appears her leftovers seem to have great potential as boyfriends for you."

"Enough." Carter demanded.

"Well Chuck, I guess that's how we should have known you couldn't work out with Blair." Serena told him. "If you have to sleep with me to be Blair's boyfriend, I guess you'll never get that opportunity." She added as she stood up and grabbed her purse to leave.

"I'm sorry Blair, I think I've had enough for one night" She nodded a goodbye to the couple and glared at Chuck before leaving.

"Well, Chuck, you sure do have an affect on people," Carter told him as he finished the rest of his bourbon.

Blair had remained silent through Chuck's outburst. She knew what he was trying to do but she wouldn't let him upset her tonight. She was going to have fun tonight.

"I guess I'll have to take over for Serena," Blair smiled as she looked at Chuck.

"Truth or Dare?" She asked even though she already knew what the answer would be.

"Dare." Chuck replied with his smirk.

Blair's smile brightened.

"See that blonde at the bar?" Blair asked. Chuck followed his gaze until he spotted a young female who was a bit too trashy for his taste and she was popping her gum loudly. He nodded to Blair.

"Bring us back her gum so you can stop her annoying gum popping." She demanded.

Chuck frowned when he realized what she meant.

"You don't expect me to kiss her, Blair, that's so childish."

"Can't do it?" Carter taunted.

Chuck looked Blair in the eyes as he accepted, "Fine. I'll do it."

If she wanted to play this game he would do it for her because he would do anything to get her back.

Carter and Blair watched as Chuck approached the blonde. It didn't take long- a few words and the blonde was begging for his attention.

Before long, Chuck had his tongue down her throat and then left her before she even realized what was going on.

"Hey?" the blonde yelled after Chuck. "Where are you going?" Chuck ignored her cries as he returned to the table. He spit the disgusting piece of gum into an empty glass.

"Done." He said as he looked at her. "Your turn."

"Dare." Blair replied although she was nervous as to what he would come up with.

Chuck smiled knowing she would choose dare. Blair always believed selecting truth put you into a place of vulnerability- it was better to keep your cards hidden than do something you didn't want to.

"Have lunch with me tomorrow."

Blair rolled her eyes. "No. That's not a dare, that's just pathetic."

"Can't handle an hour alone with me?" Chuck challenged her.

"Fine, but I hope you understand how pitiable you look right now." Blair told him as Carter laughed beside her.

"Laugh as much as you want, Carter, I still have a date with her tomorrow."

"Bass, let me explain a date to you the girl has to be willing. For example, " He began as he turned his attention to Blair, "Would you give me the pleasure of your company tomorrow?" He asked Blair as she smiled brightly.

"I would love to Carter."

"Can we get back to the game?" Chuck asked trying to interrupt their moment.

"Sure." Blair asked as she placed a kiss on Carter's cheek. "Truth or Dare, Chuck."

"See Blair, you always liked playing with me the most." He smirked. "Dare." He added.

"Go back to the blonde." Blair began and Chuck's face fell. His rude refusal of her after he kissed her would make anything impossible. "And bring back her panties."

"You can't be serious." Chuck said with a look of disgust.

"Something the great Chuck Bass can't handle?" Blair asked with a look of triumph.

"Hardly." Chuck said. He grabbed his Scotch and finished it in one quick drink. He shuddered slightly at what he was about to do.

As soon as Chuck was out of earshot, Blair turned to Carter mischievously, "Let's go back to my place and continue our own game."

"You read my mind, Waldorf." Carter told Blair as he helped her out of her. "Do you have a special dare in mind for me?" He asked her flirtatiously.

"Actually, I do." She told him making his grin increase. "Do you still have your dealer on speed-dial?" She asked as innocently as if she was asking the time.

"What?" He asked a bit surprised.

"LSD, GHB, Coke- I've never tried anything. I want to do everything I have missed out on." Blair confessed excitedly as they left the club.

When she looked at the expression of his face her enthusiasm had died down.

"You aren't going to give me the don't do drugs speech now, are you? It's a bit hypocritical don't you think?"

Carter chose his words carefully, "It's not that I want to keep you from doing anything, it's just that some of those drugs are pretty hardcore. Why don't we start with something a little less intense like salvia or weed?" He asked compromising.

Truthfully he wanted Blair to stay far away from drugs. He had seen how people had reacted; he himself had gone through it. But, pot wasn't dangerous. She could handle that.

Blair nodded in agreement, but her thoughts were interrupted when her cell phone rang.

"Who is it?" Carter asked curiously.

"My mother." She whispered.

--

A/N Thanks for any feedback.

The last couple of chapters have been kind of carefree but the story still has to focus on Blair finding herself.


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